Episode 280

Excited for everyone to be listening to today’s show as this is the last one for Season 9. Here’s what we have going on for todays show. First we have some reviews from listeners I would like to share, then I am going to talk about a subject of that comes up every day in the work that I do. This is about “conflicting information” that parents get in the early days of breastfeeding. How do you know who to listen to? Why is there such a difference of opinions? What can you do about it?

Let’s start off with 2 new itunes reviews I have received.

JaennIBCLC – Lori always seems to have the most relevant topics on her show. When you are listening you cannot only relate to what she is saying but, you also feel she is talking directly to you! She’s so knowledgeable and personable! Her professional nature makes it extremely helpful in fully understanding the topic at hand. I recommend this podcast as a mom and as an IBCLC.

Jennifer is a wonderful lactation consultant who I first met when she joined our FB group, the AABC. We got to know each other a little better through interactions online and soon I realized she had so much to offer our community that I asked her to be a guest on our show. You can listen to the several shows where Jenn graced the airwaves of the AAB show. You will want to go to Episode # 169 to listen to her tell us about her breastfeeding experiences. She is the mother of 4 and has experienced lonliness and isolation after her first traumatic birth and breastfeeding experience. This led her on a path to learn more about breastfeeding. She eventually became a BC with WIC. Through it all, she is a mom who experienced low milk supply, used an at breast supplementer, called an SNS, received donor milk from a local organization and now with all her personal experience and empathy towards moms who have needed donor milk, she gives back to her community by working on the Board of the organization where she received donor milk.

Jennifer and I stay in touch with each other as she is the go to person for Spectra Baby USA pumps. She is a very active administrator on their Facebook group, so if you want to learn more about the Spectra pumps, join her facebook group.

I swear I did not and could not plan things this way, however, my next review comes from another IBCLC.
Second one also happens to be from another IBCLC.
Debra Brender, RN, IBCLC said – The best podcast for breastfeeding mothers and professionals. I wouldn’t be the lactation consultant I am today without my weekly “in services” from Lori and her guests. Thank you for all you provide to the lactation community Lori.

I first met Debra when as an avid listener of the show, she sent me a private email and we quickly found out that we have a lot in common. Long story short, I invited her to be a guest on the show and you will hear her interview in Season 10. I very much look forward to learning about the life of an IBCLC in Silicon Valley.

If you have been enjoying the show, feel free to show some love and leave a review in itunes. I love hearing from you and what you are liking about the show. We have done a few things different this Season on the show and your feedback has helped me to know if I am on the right track, providing shows of interest to you, and what direction I should be going in. Plus, getting positive reviews is like someone giving you a hug or a pat on the back, saying – Good Job Lori, Good Job. And who does’t like to be told they are doing a good job and even better what they can be doing to make things even better.

Let’s get into what you can expect from Season 10.

I will be bringing to you a mixture of some new programming along with going back into the archives and playing some of the most popular shows. Many of my fellow podcasters record shows on a bi-monthly or monthly basis. I have recorded on average about 2 shows a week compared to their 1 – 2 shows a month. This has added up to over 280 shows in a time period that most of my podcasting friends have recorded less than 100. So, yes, I have been a busy beaver and I have my family and friends to remind me that it is okay to take some breaks, to have a lighter season, to recharge my battery for the Fall. So, that is what I am going to do. Along with the consistent Monday interview shows that are listeners favorites, you will also be able to download new Friday shows. There will be at least 3 show with Talia. At least one show will be an update on how I am doing. She has disected and analyzed all my information regarding Hashimotos and has given me my whole individualized care plan which I have already begun to implement.

Right now I am in the midst of getting lab work done, taking my basil body temperature every day, contemplating if I want to start taking things like progesterone cream and magnesium oil and a few other supplements that are new to me. I am definitely, 100% going to remove some additional foods from my daily diet. Lots of things she recommends are easy for me as I already have eliminated many of the foods on her plan. Some things will be a challenge as I now need to eliminate soy and this has been a staple for me. I will figure it all out, have my plan, stick with it for 6 weeks and then get on the mike and report to you how things have been going. I will wait about 6 weeks and then check in with everyone and let you know how the plan is working. I will post in the Facebook group when this show will air.

The other show I will be doing with Talia is one in which she is going to talk about she helps moms who are suffering with Infertility, to conceive naturally. She will be doing a free webinar where she will go in depth on this topic and I have invited her to s hare this webinar with my audience as I know this is a real problem for some of you. The third show with Talia is going to be an update about Henry and his Helmet. At some point during the summer he should be getting his helmet off, or at least close to it. I am very anxious to hear about the results.

Most of the other Friday shows will be educational. Rather than decide on topics all by myself, I am going to respond to listeners questions. If you have a specific topic you would like for me to talk about, please send me an email at: aabreastfeeding@hotmail.com You can also put your question in our Facebook group. If you have not joined us, search for All About Breastfeeding Community and click on that join button and go ahead and introduce yourself.

Now onto the subject of “conflicting information” that parents get in the early days of breastfeeding. How do you know who to listen to? Why is there such a difference of opinions? What can you do about it?

The frustration with hearing conflicting advise adds to the already overwhelming feelings new parents have during the early days

A classic example of what can happen to you right away, like the first day you give birth…..

You are experiencing sore nipples that have now cracked and are starting to bleed. During your hospital stay, and from several different members of the staff, – your pediatrician, pp nurse, lactation consultant and your best friend who breastfed 2 babies here is what you commonly are told:

Oh, that’s normal, your nipples just have to toughen up”,
Another says, “Here, put this on your nipples”, as she hands you a sachet of a purified lanolin product.
Someone else says: “Oh, it’s because you’re holding him wrong. Here hold him like this”, and then she proceeds to shove your baby onto your breast. And after that, other midwives advocate several different ways of holding your baby. So, what on earth do you do? Who should you listen to?

Once home, the door is now wide open for everyone and their mother to give you advice…. you receive all sorts of conflicting information about parenting…. should your baby sleep on their back, side, belly. Safe to sleep in the same room? same bed? Put 2 layers of clothes ,plus mittens and hat on them to keep them warm? Change their diaper the minute they pee and poop… or wait a little while to see if they fill their diaper some more in the next 20 minutes.

In terms of breastfeeding – there is advice on how frequently your baby should be eating. How long they should be eating each time. What is normal baby output? Some say if your baby does not poop for 3 days this is okay. Others say.. oh no, if your baby does not poop at least 3 times a day, t his means your baby is not getting enough food.

Is it okay to give your baby a bottle, a pacifier, to use a nipple shield, to pump for 2 days while your nipples heal.
Should you wake a sleeping baby. Some say- absolutely – never let your newborn sleep for more than 2 hours. But then your mom says, oh now, let them sleep for 3 hours, but no longer th an that. Others have strict rules about daytime sleep, but say – never wake a sleeping baby at night?

What about doctors who tell parents to follow a strict feeding schedule during the daytime and make parents feel back if they are not feeding their baby frequently enough during the day, but then say: at nighttime – don’t wake a sleeping baby, they will let you know when they are hungry? I often scratch my head at this advise.

What books or research are they taking this from? babies will not let you know when they are hungry during the daytime hours, but they absolutely will at night? This just does not make common sense?

This is your baby and the realization that you are fully responsible for your beautiful babies health and welfare. That you are their food source and making sure they are doing well, getting enough food, growing as they should is your top priority.
Having all this conflicting advice can make you feel anxious, upset, nervous, and add ot your already normal feelings o being overwhelmed. You are also quite sleep deprived, which may be factoring into you indecision about what to do and who to listen to?

The biggest issue is – Who do you trust?

Experienced family members? Physicians? Advice from excellent resources on the internet? Your lactation consultant?
I believe each person has the best interest of you and your baby in mind when they give advise.
They also have experiences themselves.

I also believe they bring to the table their personal experience, their own take on what worked for them. Their are cultural beliefs that are passed down through generations.
Grandmothers and other well-meaning family members are sure to chime in with their own take on parenting philosophy, says Jones. It’s the way cultural beliefs are passed down through generations.

I feel that anyone that you trust and love should be listened to. If you have asked them for advice, take notes, whether mental or written, think about it for a bit and see if it makes sense. If it makes sense and there is no harm in trying out their suggestion, go ahead and do so.

If it is working and things are improving, go with it. If things are not better and you are getting advice from several different places and it is making you miserable, in terms of breastfeeding, this is where I suggest seeking help from an experienced IBCLC.

To answer the question of who should you listen to and why? this is a conversation I have with moms on a regular basis.

It makes perfect sense to me to take the advice of an expert in their field. Knowing that someone has spent years and hundreds and sometimes thousands of hours learning their craft, it seems reasonable to me that they know their stuff.
Add to that, if this expert has spent quality time with you – as an IBCLC in private practice who has sp ent an hour or longer with you and your baby, it seems reasonable to me that this person is now quite knowledgeable about your breastfeeding history. Their advice would seem much more appropriate and targeted to what is going on with you and your baby. It is like they have studied you.

Some people wonder, well what is the difference between providers – your pediatrician, your OB, your midwife, your pediatric chiropractor, your pediatric speech and language therapist. We all have our expertise. Many fields overlap and practioners have some information about other fields,however, we are the expert in our own fields.

After all my pediatrician has been practicing for 10 years. My mother had 3 babies and breastfed. My sister is currently breastfeeding her first and is doing great. Why can’t I just stick with them and their advice? Why?

Because you are saying that the advice is conflicting, you don’t know which way to turn, and generally you feel like you need help with your specific breastfeeding issues.

What will be different? As an IBCLC, I give you individual attention. I listen to what your story is, what is happening with you and your baby & I put my personal breastfeeding experience aside, as I do put all the other thousands of mothers I have worked with. I want to know what is happening with you, see your breast and nipple anatomy, observe how you are latching your baby on. Find out about your babies sleeping and waking habits. Perhaps I find out that your baby is not really breastfeeding but mostly sleeping. Then the 30 minutes at the breast that you are documenting and telling others really doesn’t matter when it comes to asking the question: How long should my baby breastfeed each time?

Unless your physician knows how much milk you make, how effectively your baby is at transferring the milk, how can they possibly tell you how long your baby should breastfeed for? They have no idea of how much milk your baby is getting from each feeding?

Unless someone sees your inverted nipple and has worked with you on position and latch, how can they possibly tell you that using a nipple shield is not a good thing for you.

What if your baby averages 1 oz per feeding and should be getting 2 oz p er feeding? The advice that you get as to how often your baby should be feeding will be different for you then the next mom.

Of course not every breastfeeding mother needs the help of an IBCLC because for some of you, breastfeeding is going great. It is comfortable, you have plenty of milk, your baby is gaining as expected. For moms that are having challenges and are feeling overwhelmed, find one person, just one person, who has had an opportunity to sit down with you, really listen to your bf history, has an opportunity to work with you and your baby, observe and participate in a full feeding session. Find this trusted person.

So, what can you do when you get conflicting information: Here is my response in a nutshell –

If you feel you have been cared for, listened to and helped, stay with this person. They are closely following you on this journey, have intimate details of your breastfeeding history, have had the opportunity to work with you and help you with position and latch, and are individualizing the care plan just for you and your baby. It seems to me, rather than sit home alone and feeling worried and isolated, get good help. And once you have the help you need and feel good about it, stick with this one person and try hard not to get caught up in that hamster wheel of going around in circles, listening to many voices, following others advice just because they gave it to you and it worked for them. I often say that there are nuggets of truth and some good advice mixed in with what others tell you. It worked for them? Why not you? Because you and your baby are different than them.

Please remember the care that you received during pregnancy. You were seen, by yourself, questions answered and advise given to by an expert, based on what your situation was, what health issues you may be having. You trust this person you hired to help you through your pregnancy. Sure you solicited advise from others and when you were not sure, you listened to the expert. That is all I am saying…find that one person you feel has expertise in breastfeeding allow them ,to be there for you and use their expertise to help guide you in your breastfeeding journey.